Curiosity Killed the Crisis

MARCH 4, 2024

Curiosity Killed the Crisis

By Kai Williamson

I kept my existential crisis to myself for nearly a decade — quietly hoping to take hold of something tangible that would make life make sense, take away all the pain, and explain why we are here and what my purpose was.

Sound familiar? It probably does.

At some point in our lives, most of us contemplate more profound existential questions about the nature of life and our place in it, even though we don’t usually share those ruminations with other people.

For me, this manifested as a striving to uphold a carefree, happy-go-lucky persona in an attempt to make my personality more palatable for people, while deep down, I wondered, “What is the point of all this?”

Ultimately, shedding that narrative came from overcoming my fears, merging my sense of introspection and contemplation with community, and moving beyond the confines of self by engaging with others in this pursuit.

Among other things, my decision to enter the 45-hour Meditation & Philosophy training with Curran opened a space of new understanding. Through the meditation training, I cultivated a consistent meditation practice, developed a deeper knowledge of yogic philosophy, and, most importantly, found companions who shared this desire to be with the nuances of life.

It was in a conversation with a dear friend I’d made in training that I reached a moment that felt revolutionary.

After hours of engaging in philosophical discussion — muddling in questions one could spend decades unearthing the answers to — we wondered aloud together: what if we shifted our mindset from existential crisis to existential curiosity?

It sounds simple, but it represents a profound change in how we view inner questions about the nature of life.

Leaning into the wonder and awe at the root of all existential questions brings a playful engagement to the spirit of self-inquiry. Rather than allowing the uncertainty of the unknown to cause inner conflict, we can move away from existential dread and into a dance of curiosity.

This perspective shift invited me to be with the human experience in a new way.

Sharing these insights with another person after having experienced them in isolation was genuinely profound, and my ability to be with the unknown continues to expand.

While meditation is a wildly personal practice and often cultivated in one’s individual life, there is empowerment in bridging to the community to foster new perspectives.

There is no tangible entity out in the world that can provide concrete answers to these soul-searching questions. However, having people to engage with in the existential curiosity that is life has been far more enjoyable in my perpetual flow of philosophical contemplation.